This Mysterious Thing Called Sibling Bonding

 

It was one of those sunny mornings in May, during summer vacations, when the sibling was born. This little boy, all of six years old and the apple of everyone’s eye in the family, was told he had a sister.

I’m not sure how he took to the news. He must have been pretty excited, confused, anxious too, about this new entrant. But little did he realise that on that day, he was gifted a sibling — a sibling for life, whom they would both cherish in their own very strange ways!

My brother and I share this very different bond. We aren’t the kind who call each other frequently or keep tabs on what is happening in each other’s daily lives.

Ah, who am I kidding? I cannot recall the last time I actually called and spoke to him! I do talk to my sister-in-law regularly, but brother? Naah. We aren’t telephone buddies.

We aren’t the kind who go on outings together either. A trip to bond with my dear brother? I don’t think that has ever happened! He is someone who would rather relax and have things done at his own pace. I am someone who plans her entire week’s schedule beforehand. I would rather step out of the house and see places, while he would happily stay home any given day.

Given our very contrasting natures, I think we would probably end up fighting.

Rather, I would end up getting angry with him! 😄

We have hardly gone out to eat together either. With our families, yes, multiple times. But just me and my brother? Single digit for sure. I think it happened once or twice, and I distinctly remember those occasions because he “treated” me to chaat. Just the two of us dining together has never really been a thing!

We aren’t shopping buddies either. His tastes are completely different from mine — much better than mine, I must add! — and I honestly don’t remember shopping with him.

He has specific tastes. He looks at everything in detail, makes sure every single thing is just right and suits him before making a purchase. I, on the other hand, am probably the least particular person you could ever meet. I really don’t bother with the details and usually just go with whatever suits my budget.

We went to the same school, but never together. He went with his friends, and I went with mine. We hardly spoke to each other in school either. The only times he was summoned to my classroom were when I got into trouble.

And only then did a few of my friends realise that I actually had a brother!

I distinctly remember one such incident when I was in 3rd standard. A bunch of us had been asked to stand outside the classroom as punishment. My dear brother happened to see me standing there as he walked down the corridor.

He laughed.

And carried on walking with his friends.

Thanks, bro. 😂

Do we actually have anything in common at all?

Oh well. The one thing we definitely have in common is our childhood.

When I sit and think back, I remember those days when he made me his playmate and we played endless games together. Both our parents were working, so our holidays were spent with endless sports sessions at home. The living room became our playground. Doors became wickets or goalposts as we played squash, football, cricket and all sorts of other games indoors.

He wrestled with me as we played Mahabharata, enacting battle scenes. He introduced me to the world of music. We listened to 90s movie songs together, sang duets and recorded ourselves singing too — something I still do to this day, by the way.

Thanks to him! 😊

He was this brainy, studious kid, a superb artist and a favourite of all his teachers. Inevitably, I was always given the example of how I needed to follow in his footsteps.

I think he deserves at least some credit for my marks and ranks at school and college!

We would sit in the same room to study, but of course, how could we possibly just study and do our homework without squabbling?

We fought. We argued. We went days without talking to each other. We made faces at each other. I would get angry with him for scaring me at night and complain to Mom.

He was the perfect elder brother — who also made sure he troubled his little sister most of the time!

But yes, he cared in his own way.

He wanted me around whenever he wasn’t well. He would need me to give him company and entertain him. When I needed an honest opinion, I always went to him because his opinion mattered the most to me.

When needed, I could trust him with my secrets.

Whenever he went on official trips, he made sure he brought back goodies and dresses for me. I got pocket money from him. I could ask him for whatever I needed, and I’m sure he wouldn’t think twice before getting it for me.

That, perhaps, is the beauty of sibling bonding.

You can be as different as chalk and cheese. You can have completely different interests, barely speak on the phone, live your own separate lives and go months without having a proper conversation.

And yet, there is something that remains.

Those memories of childhood. The games you played. The fights you had. The secrets you shared. The ways you grew up together.

Those years belong to both of you.

And no matter how old you grow or how different your lives become, nobody else can ever have those exact memories with you.

Maybe that is what sibling bonding really is.

Not necessarily the calls, the outings or the constant conversations.

Just two people who grew up together, carrying a little piece of the same childhood with them — for life.

– The Mother Duck Says 🦆